"It's so pretty!" Allie protested, her hand hovering over it as if just resisting the urge to pet his hair, her silly grin belying the look of concentration around her eyes.
"Mr Lachlan--Barney--" Mrs Sheldon began, and then had to stop, at a loss. There was something pleading and yet stern about the man's tone which broke up her need to be stern back. She was the nurse. She knew what was best for Allie. Her father was a good and caring man with enough knowledge of medicine from his days as a medic to understand how severe his daughter's condition was.
Maybe that's where the sternness had come from. A throwback from his training. It was just that Mrs Sheldon hadn't ever heard him like that before, and she'd known him for over a year. Most of the time, he was pleading and heartbroken.
"If it helps, ma'am, my bro just looks like an uneducated rover," the unbelievably beautiful man called Gabe said. Mrs Sheldon hadn't even known people as beautiful as this man and his brother could exist in the world. "He's a specialist himself. He just likes makin' people double-take."
"Needa get my kicks somehow," Rafe agreed, edging closer to 'Fletch' with a wicked grin, even as the boy edged away, eyeing Allie's hovering hand. Mrs Sheldon looked at the girl, the way she giggled madly and leaned over Rafe's shoulders to reach the teen's head.
She felt as if her heart should break. Instead, it felt warmed. A specialist wouldn't step in and make a snap judgement based on a visual glance. A specialist wouldn't swing a terminally ill little girl out of her chair and onto his shoulders.
And yet ... and yet. Allie was laughing. She was laughing, and only as out of breath as the laugh dictated. Her cheeks glowed and her eyes were lit up. She looked healthier than she had in her entire one-year stay in the hospital.
"Have a little faith."
It had been a very long time since Mrs Sheldon had been to church. Since she'd even thought of going to church. All of a sudden, she felt as if maybe she should think about going again.
"Alright," she agreed softly, not quite knowing why she was agreeing, because it went against every single one of their policies and she could lose her job over this ... and yet. She could say Mr Lachlan met someone he knew, a nurse, who could vouch for Allie's health. It wouldn't be a lie, would it? Only if she trusted that Rafe was what Gabe said he was. And looking at the man's soft smile, his gentle eyes, Mrs Sheldon knew she did. She did, and she couldn't help but smile back. "I'll have to leave you the wheelchair, but I'll meet you back at the hospital, Barney. Have fun, Allie."
"I will!" Allie looked up long enough to give her a radiant smile which tweaked at Mrs Sheldon's heartstrings. "Thank you, Mrs Sheldon!"
Mrs Sheldon nodded to them all, smiling and not sure she was, turning to walk away and yet ... drawn. She was meant to leave, and yet she could barely take her eyes off them, knowing, somehow, that she was turning her back on something wonderful and unimaginable.
"Now the only question is, who gets the wheelchair?" Rafe was saying. "How 'bout you, Sol?"
"Now there's a fine question." The man called 'Sol' said, tilting his head without looking at Rafe in a way Mrs Sheldon recognised as blindness. "To be treated like a king, or an invalid? Somehow I get the impression you'll all drive me mad. I'll pass and trip over things instead. What about you, Corrival? You're an old man. Would you like the seat?"
"I've spent the last four days sitting at a desk that wasn't even mine, Wreath," growled the man in the colourful coat. "I've put on my walking boots and I'm using them."
"Excuse me, madam."
Mrs Sheldon jumped and whirled back around just shy of running into an older man carrying a plastic bag full of hotdogs and chips. His eyes were blue, and so intense that they made her heart pound. Like sky, distant and near at once, with a vastness that was humbling and uplifting at once. He smiled at her gently.
"Forgive me. You look, if I may say, like someone who has just seen a beloved gift they didn't even know they'd left behind and aren't sure they can retrieve."
"I--" Mrs Sheldon's throat closed, and she was startled to find tears in her eyes as she looked back at the group she was leaving. Something in her chest ached with a yearning she couldn't quite define. "I don't know."
"'Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'" Mrs Sheldon turned around, startled, at the man's voice. It sounded like he had spoken a quote. His smile turned a little softer. "What is it you hope for, madam? And what is it you'd otherwise pretend you do not see?"
"I, um ..."
There was something odd about the phrasing of those words. As if there were things she could only imagine, just on the other side of the footpath, which she had no idea was there just because she ... didn't believe it was. It sounded ... well, it sounded a lot like some things she'd heard in church. She'd never objected to going. It was just that God had never seemed quite as big and awe-inspiring as He should be. As if it was all just a hollow pretence.
This, somehow, was just that big. Just that awe-inspiring. It wasn't how beautiful most of the group was. It wasn't even the way Allie didn't seem sick at all anymore. It was just the way they all seemed so happy with each other, the way the Bible had always said people should be, even when they were arguing with each other. She'd never actually seen it in action before.
She was still trying to slot that into her head when the man bid her farewell and strode past her toward the group, his voice raised easily over the din. "What's this, now? I condescend to buying all of you lunch, and here you've all but forgotten me."
"I couldn'a forgotten you, pops," said Rafe. "Not so long as you've got the food."
"I see. I've only a purpose when it comes to filling your infinite belly. Maybe I'll just have to give your portion away ... the group seems to have grown since I last saw you all. There might not be enough."
Mrs Sheldon watched them laughing and was almost unsurprised to find herself smiling. Here she was, trying to puzzle out the old man's words, and they were an answer to themselves.
"Have a little faith."
Yes, she decided, maybe it was time to give church another go. Clearing her throat and brushing down her clothes, Mrs Sheldon turned to find her way out of the carnival.
no subject
"Mr Lachlan--Barney--" Mrs Sheldon began, and then had to stop, at a loss. There was something pleading and yet stern about the man's tone which broke up her need to be stern back. She was the nurse. She knew what was best for Allie. Her father was a good and caring man with enough knowledge of medicine from his days as a medic to understand how severe his daughter's condition was.
Maybe that's where the sternness had come from. A throwback from his training. It was just that Mrs Sheldon hadn't ever heard him like that before, and she'd known him for over a year. Most of the time, he was pleading and heartbroken.
"If it helps, ma'am, my bro just looks like an uneducated rover," the unbelievably beautiful man called Gabe said. Mrs Sheldon hadn't even known people as beautiful as this man and his brother could exist in the world. "He's a specialist himself. He just likes makin' people double-take."
"Needa get my kicks somehow," Rafe agreed, edging closer to 'Fletch' with a wicked grin, even as the boy edged away, eyeing Allie's hovering hand. Mrs Sheldon looked at the girl, the way she giggled madly and leaned over Rafe's shoulders to reach the teen's head.
She felt as if her heart should break. Instead, it felt warmed. A specialist wouldn't step in and make a snap judgement based on a visual glance. A specialist wouldn't swing a terminally ill little girl out of her chair and onto his shoulders.
And yet ... and yet. Allie was laughing. She was laughing, and only as out of breath as the laugh dictated. Her cheeks glowed and her eyes were lit up. She looked healthier than she had in her entire one-year stay in the hospital.
"Have a little faith."
It had been a very long time since Mrs Sheldon had been to church. Since she'd even thought of going to church. All of a sudden, she felt as if maybe she should think about going again.
"Alright," she agreed softly, not quite knowing why she was agreeing, because it went against every single one of their policies and she could lose her job over this ... and yet. She could say Mr Lachlan met someone he knew, a nurse, who could vouch for Allie's health. It wouldn't be a lie, would it? Only if she trusted that Rafe was what Gabe said he was. And looking at the man's soft smile, his gentle eyes, Mrs Sheldon knew she did. She did, and she couldn't help but smile back. "I'll have to leave you the wheelchair, but I'll meet you back at the hospital, Barney. Have fun, Allie."
"I will!" Allie looked up long enough to give her a radiant smile which tweaked at Mrs Sheldon's heartstrings. "Thank you, Mrs Sheldon!"
Mrs Sheldon nodded to them all, smiling and not sure she was, turning to walk away and yet ... drawn. She was meant to leave, and yet she could barely take her eyes off them, knowing, somehow, that she was turning her back on something wonderful and unimaginable.
"Now the only question is, who gets the wheelchair?" Rafe was saying. "How 'bout you, Sol?"
"Now there's a fine question." The man called 'Sol' said, tilting his head without looking at Rafe in a way Mrs Sheldon recognised as blindness. "To be treated like a king, or an invalid? Somehow I get the impression you'll all drive me mad. I'll pass and trip over things instead. What about you, Corrival? You're an old man. Would you like the seat?"
"I've spent the last four days sitting at a desk that wasn't even mine, Wreath," growled the man in the colourful coat. "I've put on my walking boots and I'm using them."
"Excuse me, madam."
Mrs Sheldon jumped and whirled back around just shy of running into an older man carrying a plastic bag full of hotdogs and chips. His eyes were blue, and so intense that they made her heart pound. Like sky, distant and near at once, with a vastness that was humbling and uplifting at once. He smiled at her gently.
"Forgive me. You look, if I may say, like someone who has just seen a beloved gift they didn't even know they'd left behind and aren't sure they can retrieve."
"I--" Mrs Sheldon's throat closed, and she was startled to find tears in her eyes as she looked back at the group she was leaving. Something in her chest ached with a yearning she couldn't quite define. "I don't know."
"'Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'" Mrs Sheldon turned around, startled, at the man's voice. It sounded like he had spoken a quote. His smile turned a little softer. "What is it you hope for, madam? And what is it you'd otherwise pretend you do not see?"
"I, um ..."
There was something odd about the phrasing of those words. As if there were things she could only imagine, just on the other side of the footpath, which she had no idea was there just because she ... didn't believe it was. It sounded ... well, it sounded a lot like some things she'd heard in church. She'd never objected to going. It was just that God had never seemed quite as big and awe-inspiring as He should be. As if it was all just a hollow pretence.
This, somehow, was just that big. Just that awe-inspiring. It wasn't how beautiful most of the group was. It wasn't even the way Allie didn't seem sick at all anymore. It was just the way they all seemed so happy with each other, the way the Bible had always said people should be, even when they were arguing with each other. She'd never actually seen it in action before.
She was still trying to slot that into her head when the man bid her farewell and strode past her toward the group, his voice raised easily over the din. "What's this, now? I condescend to buying all of you lunch, and here you've all but forgotten me."
"I couldn'a forgotten you, pops," said Rafe. "Not so long as you've got the food."
"I see. I've only a purpose when it comes to filling your infinite belly. Maybe I'll just have to give your portion away ... the group seems to have grown since I last saw you all. There might not be enough."
Mrs Sheldon watched them laughing and was almost unsurprised to find herself smiling. Here she was, trying to puzzle out the old man's words, and they were an answer to themselves.
"Have a little faith."
Yes, she decided, maybe it was time to give church another go. Clearing her throat and brushing down her clothes, Mrs Sheldon turned to find her way out of the carnival.