Barney didn't answer right away. He was a little too busy trying to sort out the multitude of conflicting feelings that swamped him when Rafe assured him that everything was going to be okay.
First and foremost - gratitude. That one was easy. That one was the overwhelming one. It was mixed with varying hints of relief, disbelief, and a joy that was quickly threatening to grow even stronger than the gratitude. Barney had resigned himself to the inevitable, much as he tried to rail against it - to put on a brave face for Allie. Now, suddenly, it was no longer the inevitable.
Now it was just the opposite. The possible. The probable, even. Allie had a chance. She had a real and proper chance, and Barney was the only person in the entire hospital who knew.
But, just as quickly as the joy rose up, so too did the familiar and well-worn doubts. He'd been warned by far too many doctors over the last year about the dangers of false hope. It couldn't really be this easy, could it? Nothing worth keeping in life was ever easy. It couldn't really be as beautifully simple as requesting one last test and watching the doctor's astonished face as he came out with news that was, at last, different from the usual. Life didn't work like that. And what about the money? There wasn't any more money for tests, let alone the operation that would save Allie's life. Insurance wouldn't cover it, and Barney would never be able to afford it.
The doubts weren't quite strong enough to make a dent in the joy - not in the presence of, of Archangels and Merlin and sorcerers and God knew what other miracles - but they still pestered. He'd just gotten his hopes up too many times in the past. Hope in him felt rusty and disused, lying in so many pieces on the ground.
It took him a moment, but then Barney decided to hell with life. To hell with life and logic and doubts. He hadn't laughed as hard as he had today in years. He wanted to see more of what these people got up to. And this late in the day, what was stopping him, really? Rafe was right. Allie would be fine on her own for a bit. Allie, if she were awake, would be demanding Barney to go on more adventures like this one.
Rafe. Raphael. Raphael and Gabriel.
"Sure," he nodded. "Why not? Just... I'm going to drive. If that's okay."
He didn't think he'd be able to handle Teleporting just yet.
no subject
First and foremost - gratitude. That one was easy. That one was the overwhelming one. It was mixed with varying hints of relief, disbelief, and a joy that was quickly threatening to grow even stronger than the gratitude. Barney had resigned himself to the inevitable, much as he tried to rail against it - to put on a brave face for Allie. Now, suddenly, it was no longer the inevitable.
Now it was just the opposite. The possible. The probable, even. Allie had a chance. She had a real and proper chance, and Barney was the only person in the entire hospital who knew.
But, just as quickly as the joy rose up, so too did the familiar and well-worn doubts. He'd been warned by far too many doctors over the last year about the dangers of false hope. It couldn't really be this easy, could it? Nothing worth keeping in life was ever easy. It couldn't really be as beautifully simple as requesting one last test and watching the doctor's astonished face as he came out with news that was, at last, different from the usual. Life didn't work like that. And what about the money? There wasn't any more money for tests, let alone the operation that would save Allie's life. Insurance wouldn't cover it, and Barney would never be able to afford it.
The doubts weren't quite strong enough to make a dent in the joy - not in the presence of, of Archangels and Merlin and sorcerers and God knew what other miracles - but they still pestered. He'd just gotten his hopes up too many times in the past. Hope in him felt rusty and disused, lying in so many pieces on the ground.
It took him a moment, but then Barney decided to hell with life. To hell with life and logic and doubts. He hadn't laughed as hard as he had today in years. He wanted to see more of what these people got up to. And this late in the day, what was stopping him, really? Rafe was right. Allie would be fine on her own for a bit. Allie, if she were awake, would be demanding Barney to go on more adventures like this one.
Rafe. Raphael. Raphael and Gabriel.
"Sure," he nodded. "Why not? Just... I'm going to drive. If that's okay."
He didn't think he'd be able to handle Teleporting just yet.