"It was," Skulduggery assured him. "Like children, the lot of you. I had to go and finish what seven men began, make sure none of you accidentally killed yourselves, and then I had to stand guard at the tent while you all slept it off. Those were the nine most interesting hours of my undead life."
"What are you complaining about?" Erskine wanted to know. "We destroyed the den, didn't we? We took down the bad guys, didn't we?"
"I took down the bad guys, Erskine. I did. Me. The rest of you sat there with happy grins on your faces and went to go poke at the explosives because you thought the sparks were pretty little butterflies."
"Oh, yeah! I remember that." Erskine took his chin off Anton's shoulder to poke his head around the man's side instead. "Don't remember much else, though. I don't even remember a giant ape, really. I'm just taking Descry's word for that. All I remember is waking up in a pile almost exactly like this, wondering why we weren't being served breakfast in our extravagant treetop villa. That was weird."
"What," Ghastly asked with a smile, "that we weren't in an extravagant treetop villa, or that we weren't getting served breakfast?"
"Either. Both. Weirdness all round."
"I served you breakfast," Skulduggery reminded them.
"Skulduggery, a bucket of cold water thrown in my face is not breakfast."
"Isn't it? Maybe I've forgotten what being hungry feels like. You certainly didn't feel like any food after that."
The sound of both Tanith and Valkyrie's laughter nearly drowned out Saracen's voice, and he had to raise it to be heard. "Okay, that's it. Skulduggery, we're going out for dinner. We are going to have a delectable three-course meal at a five-star restaurant and make you try some of every last dish. And after that, we're going to throw a bucket of cold water in your face."
"If that was meant to surprise me, you've ruined it."
Saracen snapped his fingers. "Damn it. We'll just have to come up with something else, then. Like opium. We'll sneak opium into your food."
"Opium's illegal."
"That's why we'll sneak it. You can't rob us of the opportunity to see you on drugs, Skulduggery. I, for one, never thought I'd see the day." He hesitated, bit his lip, and looked towards Gabe with an expression that was far less sheepish than it really should have been under the circumstances. "We wouldn't get into trouble for that, would we?"
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"What are you complaining about?" Erskine wanted to know. "We destroyed the den, didn't we? We took down the bad guys, didn't we?"
"I took down the bad guys, Erskine. I did. Me. The rest of you sat there with happy grins on your faces and went to go poke at the explosives because you thought the sparks were pretty little butterflies."
"Oh, yeah! I remember that." Erskine took his chin off Anton's shoulder to poke his head around the man's side instead. "Don't remember much else, though. I don't even remember a giant ape, really. I'm just taking Descry's word for that. All I remember is waking up in a pile almost exactly like this, wondering why we weren't being served breakfast in our extravagant treetop villa. That was weird."
"What," Ghastly asked with a smile, "that we weren't in an extravagant treetop villa, or that we weren't getting served breakfast?"
"Either. Both. Weirdness all round."
"I served you breakfast," Skulduggery reminded them.
"Skulduggery, a bucket of cold water thrown in my face is not breakfast."
"Isn't it? Maybe I've forgotten what being hungry feels like. You certainly didn't feel like any food after that."
The sound of both Tanith and Valkyrie's laughter nearly drowned out Saracen's voice, and he had to raise it to be heard. "Okay, that's it. Skulduggery, we're going out for dinner. We are going to have a delectable three-course meal at a five-star restaurant and make you try some of every last dish. And after that, we're going to throw a bucket of cold water in your face."
"If that was meant to surprise me, you've ruined it."
Saracen snapped his fingers. "Damn it. We'll just have to come up with something else, then. Like opium. We'll sneak opium into your food."
"Opium's illegal."
"That's why we'll sneak it. You can't rob us of the opportunity to see you on drugs, Skulduggery. I, for one, never thought I'd see the day." He hesitated, bit his lip, and looked towards Gabe with an expression that was far less sheepish than it really should have been under the circumstances. "We wouldn't get into trouble for that, would we?"