"No," Skulduggery disagreed. "The problem is that she doesn't. She thinks you're a shapeshifter. She does, however, assume a relationship between-" He stopped mid-sentence, gave it a moment's thought, and then reluctantly finished. "Between us. I thought Guild was more professional than that. I distinctly remember him telling me he was far better than I was. I think I have a better grasp of how human anatomy works."

Valkyrie's head suddenly snapped up. "Wait, he thinks that-"

Skulduggery didn't give her a chance to finish. "And next time, I would appreciate if you warned me about things like this sooner. Guild needing a more adventurous love life, amusing though that is, doesn't concern me. China finding out does. I do have a reputation to uphold, and - Tanith."

He'd had to slowly raise the level of his voice as he spoke, because Tanith had slowly been descending into giggles. Now, she was doubled over and laughing outright. It was incredibly distracting. Valkyrie inevitably joined in moments later, and it was like they were infecting each other, bursting into fresh peals of laughter every time they shared so much as a glance.

"I was trying to be delicate," Skulduggery grumbled. "I think it backfired."

"Let me see if I have this right," Ghastly finally spoke up, his reaction so far the most neutral, if you didn't count the slight undercurrent of teasing in his voice. "Gabriel looks like an actor and musician called Darren Criss. China isn't falling for that. And Guild... seems to think you two are dating." He paused. "I think the most important question here is why?"

"On that note," Skulduggery told Gabe, ignoring Ghastly's important question, "we'll need to be more careful. You have fans. Very devoted fans." Without waiting for a response to the ominous warning, he left the group once again to reassure China that no, he was not... dating Darren Criss.