let me be the one you call / if you jump I'll break your fall

[impudentsongbird]

Book Four: Dark Days
1 | into the breach
2 | finding skulduggery
3 | retreat to the tunnels
4 | into the cacophony
5 | sanctuary in the cathedral
6 | reuniting old friends
7 | kenspeckle's new patient
8 | holy water and disinfectant
9 | objecting to china sorrows
10 | the roadtrip
11 | baffling guild
12 | shenanigans at the safehouse
13 | reassuring fletcher
14 | valkyrie's intervention
15 | solomon's revelation
16 | visiting the edgleys
17 | recalled to the sanctuary
18 | guild's confusion
19 | gabe is busted
20 | the psychic tattoist
21 | envisioning the cacophony
22 | angel's first migraine
23 | the morning after
24 | china and solomon
25 | detectives' council of war
26 | china's foolishness
27 | the collector dethroned
28 | finding crux
29 | skulduggery's vileness revealed
30 | sorrows in aftermath
31 | finding equilibrium
32 | the devil's number
33 | at the carnival
34 | meeting authorities
35 | solomon's confession
36 | the stray soul
37 | sanguine unsettled
38 | solomon's choice
39 | a cowboy underground
40 | in scarab's basement
41 | striking midnight
42 | craven contested
43 | emergency services
44 | on your feet
45 | and don't stop moving
46 | easy recognition
47 | a deuce of an evening
48 | engines roaring
49 | compromising judgements
50 | solomon's conflict
51 | axis turning
52 | thinking circular
53 | blasting the past
54 | reviling vile

Book Five: Mortal Coil
55 | sanctuary unsanctified
56 | shudder unravelling
57 | catching an angel
58 | layering dimensions
59 | dead men meeting
60 | when it rains
61 | power plays
62 | sing on gold
63 | the valley of death
64 | grand aspersions
65 | no evil feared
66 | new days rising
67 | angelic neuroses
68 | step-brothers working
69 | the many sorrows of china
70 | peacefully wreathed
71 | tarnished gold
72 | the secret in darkness
73 | magical intent
74 | scars worth keeping
75 | benefits of a beau
76 | grand magery
77 | lighting the darkness
78 | old dogs and new tricks
79 | flouting traditions
80 | drawing lines
81 | brothers and sisters in arms
82 | channelling angels
83 | return of the carnies
84 | the death bringers
85 | meriting agelessness
86 | knick knack, paddy
87 | give a dog a bone
88 | americans propheteering
89 | the right side of honour
90 | tailored shocks
91 | hosting angels
92 | elders anonymous
93 | rediscovered strays
94 | changings and changelings
95 | a state of reflection
96 | adding hope
97 | the devil's truth
98 | dead mens' hospitality
99 | lives half lived
100 | next to godliness
101 | devilish plans
102 | beached angels
103 | lights of revelation
104 | heroes worshipped
105 | new devilries
106 | angels under the yoke
107 | brains frozen
108 | father, mother, daughter
109 | parental guidance recommended
110 | driven round the bend
111 | ongoing training
112 | privileged information
113 | reasonable men
114 | passing the buck
115 | gifting magicks
116 | strengths and weaknesses
117 | immaturity's perks
118 | priests and prophets
119 | scaling evil
120 | blowing covers
121 | marring an afternoon
122 | lie detection
123 | five-dimensional pain
124 | reliving nightmares
125 | taking stock
126 | sampling spices
127 | sleeping prophets lying
128 | rueful returns
129 | dead men reunion
130 | medically-approved hugs

The life of an angel was a contradiction in changes and stability. On one hand, they understood very well the way the cosmos was shaped by events within it. On the other, they stood at one step apart from it—or at least had, for a very long time, up until their Master's recent wager with Lucifer. Changes in the recent past had, even for angels, been fast and turbulent, but there were none that concerned Raphael more than Gabriel's abrupt reserve.

In the aftermath of the wager Gabriel had been almost the only one to know where their Lord was at any given time, a fact which had put the Archangel very firmly under Lucifer's radar. Raphael had joked that Gabriel ought to arm himself with more jokes or worse clothes to drive the fallen angel away; Michael had offered the peace of the Garden Coast. (Rafe thought his idea was better.)

Either way, even though their Master was fair hidden, every angel knew that they had only to ask Gabriel and the Archangel would pass on a message.

Then Gabriel had simply blipped off the radar himself. Poof! Gone! No one had noticed at first, because, well, they weren't exactly in constant connection. It was just when Raphael had taken a whim to seek out his younger brother that he'd noticed it, and let it be, because there was absolutely a reason for it. Gabe did not just off and vanish, except that once with his self-exile, and that didn’t count.

But when Gabriel had come back, he had been strangely agitated and yet close-mouthed. The younger Archangel had vanished off to wherever their Master was hidden for a long chat Raphael was dying to have listened into, and yet couldn't (but only partly because it would have been rude). Now he was here, floating among the stars and examining a black hole with unnerving intensity.

For a time Raphael watched without letting on that he was there, but eventually Gabriel spoke. “I’d rather you came to join me instead of lurking, brother.”

Absolutely refusing to feel chagrined, Raphael let himself manifest with an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders and ruffled the younger angel’s hair. Gabriel threw a fond, longsuffering glance up at him, but there was something in his eyes, something distracted and sharp, which indicated that Gabriel still wasn’t truly present. Raphael only wished he knew where the other Archangel was.

“Just wondering what you’re doin’ all the way out here,” he said teasingly. “There’s a party going on down there on Earth, Gabe.” There was always a party going on down on Earth. “You oughta be down there bobbin’ for apples and switching up party-hats!”

“I can’t,” Gabriel said quietly, with a sort of seriousness Raphael had, for all Gabriel’s literalness, rarely heard from him. So Raphael fell into the same seriousness, lost his playful accent, and spoke directly.

“Why not, brother? You’ve been reserved of late. I conf—I’m worried for you.”

For a very long time Gabriel said nothing and stared into the slow-turning swirl of the black hole. Raphael waited patiently, his arm still companionably across the other Archangel’s shoulders. Eventually Gabriel spoke. “Did you know, Raphael,” he said, “that the universe you see around you here isn’t the only one our Master has created?”

Raphael was so startled that he couldn’t answer. That wasn’t what he was imagining. He hadn’t been sure what he’d been imagining, but that wasn’t it. “I’m not sure what you mean, Gabriel,” he said after a moment. “Our Lord told me the story of Creation not all that long ago, and he never mentioned anything of the kind.”

Gabriel nodded. “He told me that story as well. And then He asked if I really wanted to know details.” He hesitated. “I … admit, I declined. It’s something He said—about faith. I decided I didn’t need to know details. But it’s true, nevertheless. Just beyond this …” The Archangel reached out his hand and touched that gossamer and unbreakable fabric that supported reality. “There are other universes, even with different versions of us.”

“Different versions of us?” Raphael repeated, appalled and uncertain and entirely confused. How could that be possible? What could their Master want with more than one of any of them? What was going on? Where had Gabriel gone in that time he’d vanished? Then something occurred to him and he smiled with relief. “This is a joke, right?”

Gabriel looked up at him and smiled back with such a gentle understanding that for a moment Raphael felt very small indeed. “No, Rafe. I’m not joking. It was a shock to me too. That isn’t the point, though.”

“Isn’t it?” Raphael asked, feeling as dazed as an angel possibly could, especially when he wasn’t even inhabiting an actual physical body.

“No.” Gabriel returned to watching the black hole intently. “I met some people from other realities. One of them is in a kind of Hell, and he very much does not deserve it. I promised him that, if I could, I would save him from it.”

Which did not in the least explain why Gabe was staring at a black hole, let alone a million other questions Raphael would have liked to ask and for which he couldn’t find the words. Finally he found one. “How?”

“First,” Gabriel said with a sort of tranquillity Raphael had heard in his brother’s voice a million times but never after delivering so turbulent a piece of news, “I’m going to jimmy open a crack in the door through this hole.”

Raphael stared at Gabe, and then at the black hole, and then back at Gabe. He opened his mouth to ask whether their Master knew he was planning this and then closed it, because that was a stupid question. He opened it again to query if Gabriel had asked whether he could go around lifting the sheets and then realised that was also a stupid question, because whether he had or not, their Master probably would have told him to do what he felt was best.

It was equally clear that Gabriel very much planned to go through with this, no matter what Raphael said, and really, did Raphael have the right to object? Surely if this carried a risk, their Master would have already forbidden Gabriel from making the attempt?

“I’ll come with,” Raphael said at last, and this time when Gabriel glanced back the younger Archangel’s expression was startled. A moment later that expression shifted into grateful apology.

“I’m sorry, Rafe, but I’m not entirely certain I’ll make it through, and we can hardly leave Michael here alone.” He grinned. “Did you see what he was wearing last festival day on the Garden Coast? He hasn’t moved out of the eighteenth century yet. How would he possibly handle the rest of the world?”

Raphael laughed out loud, warm but startled, and the sound of it rang through space. Gabriel chuckled quietly beside him, and for a few minutes there was just companionable humour that faded into an equally comfortable silence.

Still, Raphael had a lot of questions. How did Gabriel plan to find his friend, let alone the universe he was in? How was he going to get back? What would he do if he met another version of himself? Or, worse, Lucifer? Finally the Archangel just asked, “Have you figured out how to crack open the door?”

“I think so,” Gabriel said, considering the black hole. “Once I figured out what to look for. I wouldn’t have gotten even that far if it weren’t for some things our Master said.”

Which meant that, in some fashion, this expedition was sanctioned by their Master, Raphael translated, and something tense in him relaxed. “Something do to with this drain here, I’ll bet,” he said, falling into his casual accent once more. “Gonna rip out the kitchen sink, li’l brother?”

“Just to see what’s hiding underneath,” Gabriel said with a grin.

“I’ll try’n keep it open for ya,” Raphael promised, and Gabriel sent him a smile which lit up the very space around them with its brilliance.

“Thank you, Rafe,” he said, and straightened. Raphael took his arm away as Gabriel lifted his hands, not exactly stepping back so much as giving Gabriel space. The youngest Archangel didn’t often reveal his power, but it was always a sight to see, a song to hear, when he did.

As it was now. Gabriel’s voice started deep, lifted high, split and wove and became more melodies than one would think a single being could possibly sing at once. The sound of it made Raphael’s heart soar, made him want to fly and laugh. It was so deep, so light, so resonating that it was physical; it touched the slow turn of the black hole and made it, for just the briefest of moments, still. In that moment Gabriel sent a carefully-aimed bolt of energy into the heart of it.

It was the kind of sight Raphael hadn’t seen in thousands of years, a play of physics and metaphysics which he hadn’t thought possible, let alone imagined. There was an eruption in the centre of the black hole, where gravity was condensed; the cascade of energy plumed upward and was dragged back down as quick, a tear in the fabric of the reality not allowed the time to widen or become a danger.

Raphael didn’t even know Gabe had moved until the younger Archangel was gone, he was so busy staring in awe. With a start the Archangel stretched out his senses and just barely managed to catch a glimpse of his brother shooting toward the hole at speeds few angels could have achieved through such a gravity well. Raphael certainly couldn’t have.

How, he suddenly wondered, was he meant to keep that open if he didn’t even have the speed of thought to track Gabriel’s movements through it?

Desperately the Archangel cast about for something to jam in the door, as it were. There was some dark matter nearby and with a thought he fashioned it into a spear and pitched it toward the centre of the black hole. It struck just as Gabriel flitted through the crack nearly wholly collapsed in on itself; the star’s gravity caught it, pulled it in, and plugged the opening like a metaphysical sink.

Slowly Raphael made every part of himself relax. For good or ill, Gabe was gone on this quest of his, and now Raphael should probably go and round up some of their younger siblings to guard the area. Just in case.


Book Four: Dark Days
into the breach | finding skulduggery | retreat to the tunnels | into the cacophony | sanctuary in the cathedral | reuniting old friends | kenspeckle's new patient | holy water and disinfectant | objecting to china sorrows | the roadtrip | baffling guild | shenanigans at the safehouse | reassuring fletcher | valkyrie's intervention | solomon's revelation | visiting the edgleys | recalled to the sanctuary | guild's confusion | gabe is busted | the psychic tattoist | envisioning the cacophony | angel's first migraine | the morning after | china and solomon | detectives' council of war | china's foolishness | the collector dethroned | finding crux | skulduggery's vileness revealed | sorrows in aftermath | finding equilibrium | the devil's number | at the carnival | meeting authorities | solomon's confession | the stray soul | sanguine unsettled | solomon's choice | a cowboy underground | in scarab's basement | striking midnight | craven contested | emergency services | on your feet | and don't stop moving | easy recognition | a deuce of an evening | engines roaring | compromising judgements | solomon's conflict | axis turning | thinking circular | blasting the past | reviling vile

Book Five: Mortal Coil
sanctuary unsanctified | shudder unravelling | catching an angel | layering dimensions | dead men meeting | when it rains | power plays | sing on gold | the valley of death | grand aspersions | no evil feared | new days rising | angelic neuroses | step-brothers working | the many sorrows of china | peacefully wreathed | tarnished gold | the secret in darkness | magical intent | scars worth keeping | benefits of a beau | grand magery | lighting the darkness | old dogs and new tricks | flouting traditions | drawing lines | brothers and sisters in arms | channelling angels | return of the carnies | the death bringers | meriting agelessness | knick knack, paddy | give a dog a bone | americans propheteering | the right side of honour | tailored shocks | hosting angels | elders anonymous | rediscovered strays | changings and changelings | a state of reflection | adding hope | the devil's truth | dead mens' hospitality | lives half lived | next to godliness | devilish plans | beached angels | lights of revelation | heroes worshipped | new devilries | angels under the yoke | brains frozen | father, mother, daughter | parental guidance recommended | driven round the bend | ongoing training | privileged information | reasonable men | passing the buck | gifting magicks | strengths and weaknesses | immaturity's perks | priests and prophets | scaling evil | blowing covers | marring an afternoon | lie detection | five-dimensional pain | reliving nightmares | taking stock | sampling spices | sleeping prophets lying | rueful returns | dead men reunion | medically-approved hugs

Comments

[skeletonenigma]

Valkyrie could hardly believe this was happening. She felt like she had to keep pinching herself, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She didn't, of course, because that would have looked silly. But she kept looking over when she heard Skulduggery's voice and even though she knew exactly what she would see, she kept doubletaking when the smooth white skull wasn't immediately visible. She could actually read his lips now, if she wanted.

She half expected Skulduggery to say something every time she stopped talking just to stare, maybe to tease her, but he was probably enjoying the attention. And his eyes were twinkling. That wasn't a one-time thing; it happened every time he smiled. And he smiled. And he had teeth! Well, he'd always had teeth, but now they were inside a mouth with lips, which meant now they were real teeth. And now Valkyrie could tell what he was thinking when he looked at her, which wasn't really a huge improvement because for most of the walk to her house, he was basically thinking that Valkyrie was amusing and that was it. It made her want to annoy him, just to see what would happen to his face.

If only this illusion would last forever. Valkyrie looked up at her house halfway down the block, and her smile dipped. This better not be a dream.

Meanwhile, Fletcher was having a much harder time looking at the skin on Skulduggery's head, even though he wasn't able to see the face from where he was. "I guess," he answered Gabe slowly. "I just... I got kind of used to imagining the best-case expression, you know? It's so weird actually... seeing him frown."

He hadn't even known Skulduggery for that long. A few days almost a year ago, and then a few hours today. He couldn't imagine what was going through Valkyrie's mind. What kind of a world did Fletcher live in now, that he found a man with a face weird and a living skeleton perfectly normal? What happened to just Teleporting around and taking things as he needed them?

[impudentsongbird]

"Sudden changes in things you're used to can do that," Gabriel agreed, watching Skulduggery and Valkyrie's backs, and not bothering to suppress a smile at the way Valkyrie kept looking over toward her mentor. "But it can be fun, too. It means you get to see something different, and that you can be surprised." He grinned at Fletcher. "I rather like surprises."

At least, he liked them were they were nice surprises. The surprise of the wager hadn't been as fun, but most of the surprises he got were good ones, so he still had little reason not to like them.

"Have you met Valkyrie's parents before?" he asked, and then raised his voice so Valkyrie could hear him too, amusement in his voice. "Should I know their names before we meet them? I think I should probably know their names before we meet them."

Not that he couldn't find them out himself, but the Archangel always preferred it if people told him things, rather than him assuming them just because he saw more deeply.

[skeletonenigma]

Fletcher shook his head. "There's never really been a reason to."

Valkyrie turned around and started walking backwards, keeping pace beside Skulduggery. "Do we need to know their names? Isn't this the first time you guys are meeting them?"

"If this carpool is a regular occurrence, you've probably mentioned them at some point," Skulduggery explained. "If our road trip was any indication, we all like to talk."

"About grass," said Valkyrie. "And whether or not Gaelic is cheating at I Spy. Not about my parents' names." All the same, she could see what Gabriel and Skulduggery were getting at, and so she sighed. "Alright, fine. Desmond and Melissa Edgley."

Valkyrie considered whether or not to apologize for her dad in advance. It would certainly be funnier if she didn't, but she had no idea how long she'd be able to keep a straight face with everything under optimal conditions, and so she stopped just before putting her hand on the door handle. "My dad can get a little... out there. So I apologize for him if he says anything... well, anything, actually."

And with that, she pushed open her own front door, keenly aware of how little she'd done it recently.

... This would be the first time in three years that her parents would actually meet Skulduggery. And, more importantly, that Skulduggery would meet them. Never mind the disguised Archangel in the room, Valkyrie was looking forward to this just for being able to see her best friend's reactions to something important for once. "Mom? Dad? I'm home."

[impudentsongbird]

"About the important things," Gabriel agreed. "I'd say that includes your parents' names." He came to a stop behind the girl and laughed, already putting on the Midwestern accent he'd taken to using people outside the group. "He sounds fascinatin'. I'm lookin' forward to it."

And of course he was. He got a glimpse of what Valkyrie meant, and Desmond already seemed exactly the kind of person Gabe, and Gabe's Master, would have loved to talk to. The Archangel stood aside to let Skulduggery and Fletcher enter first, and then followed them, looking around with open curiosity.

"You're home late," Melissa called from the kitchen. "Your father's been climbing the walls. Is everything okay?" The woman came to the door as she spoke, and then paused to survey the group of them with concerned bemusement. "Well," she said, "it certainly looks okay. Who are your friends?"

She was worried, yes, and Gabe could see that Valkyrie being home both soothed her and not. On one hand, she was home. On the other she was surrounded by a young man with unique hair, a well-suited man with twinkling eyes and a bare-footed cowboy, all of whom were noticeably older than her. But that wasn't the part that Gabriel was most interested in.

The part Gabriel was interested in was the quiet, developing life within her. The Archangel tore his eyes from her womb and looked her in the face just as Melissa caught his eye. Gabe knew that he was grinning wildly at her, knew that she'd seen where he'd been looking. Her eyes widened and she smiled automatically back, sheepish and a bit unsure, but glowing nonetheless.

The Archangel touched the brim of his hat, unable to keep the joy out of his voice and not bothering to try. "Evenin', ma'am. Sorry to be barging in unexpected like this. Steph insisted."

Once she knew Skul would have a face, anyway.

[skeletonenigma]

Valkyrie had to fight not to look surprised when Gabriel used her real name. Really, it shouldn't have been all that unexpected, and with the elaborate lie they were attempting, Valkyrie couldn't afford to slip up even once. "Yeah, everything's fine." She didn't need to fake the smile crossing her face. Just thinking about the disguised Archangel in the room using a midwestern American accent on her mother was enough to make her giggle. "I'm sorry I didn't warn you about this. Mum, this is..." She hesitated with her hand vaguely in the air, and then decided to start with Fletcher. "This is Fletcher Renn. He's a student at the local college, and he does a lot of driving around for our school too."

The Teleporter shot Valkyrie a short glare at the word 'driving,' but didn't try to correct her, thankfully. "Hello," he said with a wave.

"And this is..." Oh, god. Valkyrie had completely forgotten about the name 'Skulduggery.' Like that would go unnoticed. "Mr. Pleasant," she recovered smoothly, right before freezing all over again. Would they recognize the name from Mr. Fedgewick's office three years ago? Oh well. Too late to go back now. "You know how I've been working out lately? Mr. Pleasant's been teaching me a little bit of martial arts. And kind of tutoring me in history on the side."

Skulduggery tipped his hat to Melissa, in a manner not unlike Gabe just a few moments earlier. All charm and smiles. Valkyrie wished she could see that disarming smile more often. It went so well with his velvet-smooth voice. "Pleased to finally meet you. Stephanie's been a delight. A little bit of a handful occasionally, but very focused overall."

Valkyrie gave him a tight smile and hoped, despite the velvet-smooth voice, that he wouldn't keep on talking. She was slightly worried he wouldn't know when to stop.

"And this is Gabriel," Valkyrie finished, letting her hand drop to her side, and trying her level best not to think too hard about this. "Gabriel... Prescott." Dear God, she hoped that was a common Southern name. "Gabe for short. He's been tutoring Fletcher. We've all been meeting up for a while after school sometimes, but a carpool thing kind of worked out today, so I missed the bus." Sheepish grins were practically second nature to Valkyrie by this point, and she had no trouble using one this time. Without giving her mum time to think too much, Valkyrie stepped over and hugged her, overjoyed that she could finally do this without a heavy heart or a closed-off expression. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

[impudentsongbird]

"I see." For a moment Melissa seemed to be at a loss, and she returned Valkyrie's hug almost automatically. Then her gaze dropped over Val's shoulder and she said conversationally to Gabe, "Were you aware you're not wearing any shoes?"

"Yes, ma'am," Gabe said with a solemn nod, just barely managing to keep the grin off his face but not out of his eyes. "Best way to feel the earth under your feet, no shoes."

"It is, isn't it," Melissa agreed. She laughed and abruptly squeezed Valkyrie tight, running a hand over the girl's hair. "And we were worried you didn't have any friends, when all this time you were developing a harem," she teased, the good will and humour covering any concern she might have had for the fact that all the members of that harem were significantly older than the girl in question. Apparently Skul and Gabe's charm was having its effect.

"Well, why don't you all come in. Just excuse the guard-dog. He's getting on in years, and he's lazy, but he's very protective of Steph. His name's Des." She raised her voice. "Des? Steph brought home guests!"

[skeletonenigma]

Valkyrie was silently cursing herself when she pulled away from the hug, for not realizing the obvious details like Gabe being barefoot. She loved her mother more than anything right at that moment, loved the way she simply accepted it and moved on. There was a familiar twinge of guilt, though, just like there always was when her parents offhandedly mentioned how much she'd changed lately, how much she kept to herself. But Valkyrie was able to ignore that when she heard her dad's voice echo from the bowels of the house.

"Steph?" He appeared at the top of the stairs, barefoot and wearing a basic sleep shirt over jeans. "Bringing guests, you say? Is that some type of exotic food?"

Valkyrie gave him a happy wave. "Hi, Dad!"

Des looked to Melissa in confusion. "Is it a type of exotic food that induces strangely good moods?"

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and repeated the round of introductions, with more confidence this time, and still quietly grateful when neither of her parents seemed to remember the name Pleasant. Des made the same comment about Gabe's shoes - causing Valkyrie to laugh - and regarded them all with a thoughtful expression before loudly announcing that any friend of Stephanie's was absolutely not allowed to leave the house without at least having a drink beforehand and telling him their life stories.

"We'd be here for years," Valkyrie muttered to Skulduggery as she led the group into the living room.

"Indeed, we would," Skulduggery said with a nod.

"I mean, you'd be bad enough, but then Gabe..."

"How religious are your parents?"

"Not very. They know the basics, I guess. But so does China, and we managed to fool her."

Des appeared behind them. "What are you two whispering about? Is there anything I should know?"

Valkyrie smiled innocently up at him. So, so many things. "Probably not."

Des's eyes narrowed, and he jabbed a finger into Skulduggery's chest. "Are you the one who's teaching her to disrespect her elders?"

"Me? Not in the least." Skulduggery shook his head sadly. "She doesn't respect my authority either. If you want to blame someone," he tilted his head towards Gabe, "blame him."

Des looked from Skulduggery to Gabe, and then back to Skulduggery again. Something Valkyrie couldn't quite identify flickered over his features, and she frowned. Did he suspect something? Did he think she was actually part of Gordon's 'cult' now, and that these were other members? But a moment later his expression cleared, and the beaming smile was back. "What would everyone like to drink?"

[impudentsongbird]

"Sounds great," Gabe said with a grin, taking the invitation to move further into the house, looking around with vibrant interest. His senses were extended to drink in the love in this house. The love ... the deception. But mainly the love. It reassured him. "Steph ain't much talkative when it comes to her family." He grinned at her over his shoulder. "If I didn't know better I'd think she was ashamed, but I ain't seeing anything but fine folks."

"Steph's a teenage girl," Melissa said, directing Fletcher to a seat as they reached the living-room. "I think she finds us boring." She cast a twinkling glance over at her daughter and husband. "Are we boring, dear?"

At the entrance to the living-room Gabe spun on his heel with a laugh, nudging Skul and raising his hands with mock innocence. "And who taught me? My Daddy don't count. Don't be throwin' accusations you can't back, pardner." The Archangel took a seat on the couch beside Fletcher, sitting comfortably just off the edge and leaned forward the way someone did when they were truly eager, glancing up at Des. "I'll have whatever you'll be havin', Mr Edgley."

[skeletonenigma]

Gabe's accent was distracting. Even before he spun to challenge Skulduggery's words, Skulduggery was having a hard time keeping his mind where it was supposed to be. It was disconcerting how realistic that accent sounded, to the point where you couldn't even use the word 'realistic' to describe it anymore. Gabe sounded like the very epitome of the American South. It was too perfect. Luckily, 'too perfect' wasn't a phrase often used to describe accents, so they were probably safe for the moment.

It also amused Skulduggery how, without a word, they had all decided Gabe was undercover as an American cowboy. It wasn't that you couldn't argue with an Archangel; it was that no one wanted to.

"Boring?" Des glanced, horrified, over at his wife. "Boring? I own a construction company, and I wear a suit maybe once a year, if that. Why wouldn't Stephanie be telling all her friends about me?"

Des was a lot like Gordon. They had the same sense of humour, the same warm arrogance forming the basis of a lot of that humour. It was easy to tell they were brothers. Skulduggery caught himself from mentioning the similarity, and smiled instead. He liked smiling, now that he could feel it. And it was interesting how every time he did, Valkyrie automatically followed suit.

Skulduggery took up one of the armchairs, leaning back and relaxing into the soft leather. Valkyrie perched on an arm of the couch and grinned at her dad. "Don't worry. I leave out all the boring bits."

Des shook his head sadly. "Obviously, or else Gabe here would know to call me Des." He turned towards the kitchen. "You won't want what I'm having, Gabe. Very alcoholic. Almost dangerously alcoholic. In fact, I don't even feel like having any of it tonight. So I'm going to stick with a scotch and soda. Two scotches, what about everyone else?"

Fletcher and Skulduggery both politely declined anything, and once Des had left the living room, Skulduggery tilted his head - more out of force of habit, since everyone could now clearly see the teasing expression on his face. "I was more talking about your father, true. But you've only recently started defying Him. I'm perfectly able to say some of that is influencing Stephanie." He glanced towards Melissa. "You would like Gabe's father. Most people do. I'm told He's very understanding."

[impudentsongbird]

"Maybe it's the golf," Melissa suggested deadpan as she took her own seat, "and the fact that yesterday you fell asleep in the cart before the fourth hole."

"Sounds a lot like a challenge to me, Des," Gabe said with a grin and a gleam in his own eye, "but if y'not feelin' up to it, ain't worth the risk." It was, in fact, possible for angels to get drunk. Gabe and Rafe had tested it out on Michael last festival-day in the Garden Coast, only about a month before Gabe had been taken by Landel. They'd lost count of exactly how much it had taken, but it had been very educational (especially when it became clear that, apparently, drunkenness had something of a dampening effect on angelic powers).

Then, of course, Skulduggery caught his attention and he sat up with apparent dignity. "You've been around Steph more than I have, pardner. I'd say it's more obvious you've been havin' an influence on the both of us." And then he laughed. "Most of the ones who get to know Him properly, anyways. He'd like you folks," he added to Melissa with a grin. "I can already tell."

[skeletonenigma]

"I have learned a long time ago," said Des as he came back in with two glasses of scotch, "never to engage foreigners in drinking competitions. They fold early and they're never any fun. And we need to think of the children."

"That's true," Skulduggery nodded. "That's very true. I wouldn't want to see young Stephanie traumatised by the things she might see."

Valkyrie glared at him, and he smiled back at her. He could still get used to this smiling thing. Ghastly was getting a disguise from China, a disguise that had apparently worked out quite well. Maybe Skulduggery should look into it. It was certainly making meeting Valkyrie's parents much easier, and much less awkward than it would have been if he couldn't remove his scarf.

Des nodded at Gabe. "We are very likeable people."

"And I'm a very influential person," Skulduggery agreed. "However, if you were to go back to the crux of the argument - "

"Oh, here we go again," Valkyrie sighed.

Des laughed. "Oh, arguments keep any relationship fun. You should know that, Stephanie. You've been around us for, what, fourteen years now? Fifteen?"

[impudentsongbird]

"Oh, trust me," Gabe said, grinning as he accepted the glass and lifted it in a toast as thanks, "when it comes to gamblin', ain't no one better than me aside from my Daddy." As long as it was at cards, although Gabe had never done as badly in the casinos as he did when playing cards against his Master. "But you're right. Maybe another time you can test my mettle. Wouldn't want to be bad role-models for the kids."

He winked at Valkyrie and took an easy mouthful of the scotch. If he were blinded and unprepared as he had been in the Institute, or even human at all and thus subject to human physiological reactions, he might have choked. As it was, the Archangel only laughed after swallowing.

"It keeps things interestin'," he said, pretending obliviousness to the obvious implication, and turned to Skul. "If we were to go back to the crux of the argument, it'd be that someone's been a bad influence on Steph. Seein' as you've known her longer, and been trainin' her up to take out any creepy guy who might say somethin' wrong, logic says that's gotta be you."

[skeletonenigma]

...

Dammit.

It didn't take Skulduggery long to rewind the conversation in his head and see where Des was getting his impression from. And without the skeleton part to get in the way, it was even a somewhat logical impression. What baffled the detective was how Valkyrie's father came to the same conclusion as Guild, and after just about the same amount of time, too. Was there a sign he was missing? Was Gabe manipulating peoples' thoughts for fun? Skulduggery scowled; even if the Archangel truly was being discreet and staying out without permission, he certainly wasn't doing anything to help.

Unfortunately, Skulduggery had to admit, it was a good cover. It explained, nicely and neatly, how they all met and why they were all together now. The scowl disappeared as quickly as it settled, and he returned Gabe's look with an even gaze. "I don't recall ever teaching her to disrespect her elders."

"That's practically all you teach me," Valkyrie pointed out. "And it's practically all you do."

"Ah, but when I do it, people continue to take me seriously." Skulduggery turned back to Des with another smile. "So, Valkyrie tells me you work in construction." Of course, that was only a few moments ago, and it was Des himself who'd mentioned it, but Skulduggery wasn't going to split hairs. "Is that as action-packed as it sounds?"

Des nodded somberly. "It's a hard life, golfing every other weekend, disrespecting elders and higher-ups. I can't tell you how glad I am that you're giving Stephanie a head start in that department."

[impudentsongbird]

The look Gabe returned Skulduggery was genuinely innocent in that way that said he really wasn't doing anything, but it didn't conceal the amusement in his eyes which proved that he wasn't exactly oblivious about the undertone.

"Leadin' by example's still teachin', pardner," he said with a shrug, shoving his hat back. "Good thing it's always in season."

Des wasn't the only one getting the same impression of the two, either, though Melissa was also observant enough to notice Mr Pleasant's momentary scowl. Not that she mentioned it, of course. Maybe someone had given them some hassle about it. "Just what a woman always wants," she said in tones of agreement, "knowing that her daughter will grow up being able to emasculate men." She grinned at Valkyrie. "Good girl."

[skeletonenigma]

This conversation was going from bad to good to worse to just plain weird. Valkyrie couldn't help laughing at Skulduggery's obvious discomfort when her father leaped to conclusions, as well as, once again, stupidly trying to picture it. Her imagination always seemed to grind to a halt whenever she thought about the skeleton aspect, thankfully. But she stopped laughing when her mother spoke, and tried to work out if she'd just been insulted or not.

"Not every man," Des protested with an air of offense. "What am I, chopped liver? Besides, I thought we were supposed to be finding her a husband. Men are scared off by that sort of thing."

Skulduggery leaned over towards Valkyrie, an impressive expression of worry on his face that made Valkyrie believe she must have imagined the scowl from earlier - an expression of worry that she wasn't entirely sure was genuine to start with. "What's the most important thing I told you to remember?" he asked quietly.

Valkyrie grinned and shook her head. "Do what you say, don't follow your example."

"Excellent. Just making sure."

"Gabe does have a point, you know," she informed him. "And you know that, or you'd still be arguing."

"Nonsense. We're here for your parents, not to argue."

"So you're, what, taking the high road?" Valkyrie crossed her arms. "And when has that ever stopped you? Admit it, you lost."

"I didn't lose," Skulduggery grumbled, and finally, there was the frown. A real, proper frown. "I'm conceding this battle and conserving my strength for the war. Your mother seems to appreciate it."

[impudentsongbird]

"Always wondered if that was true," Gabe wondered out loud, and turned to Fletcher. "That true that guys are scared off by that sort of thing, Fletch?"

It was a perfectly legitimate question. As an angel, Gabe had very little experience in the realms of whether or not people were scared off being romantically involved with other people by certain traits. Of course, that was just from a direct perspective; observationally, he knew perfectly well the answer and the twinkle in his eyes indicated that he was teasing Skul by doing nothing to oppose the Edgleys' mistaken belief.

"You certainly weren't, dear," Melissa said benevolently, reaching out to pat Des's knee, but when she leaned back again there was a certain energy. Not a nervous energy, but an anticipatory one. "Speaking of, Steph, I've managed to browbeat your father into getting a pet. I don't suppose that sounds any good to you?"

[skeletonenigma]

Gabe had to know what he was doing. He had to know that every innocent word he said was only adding to her parents' misconceptions. Was he... was he teasing Skulduggery on purpose? Valkyrie had to turn away to stifle a giggle - which, in retrospect, probably didn't do anything to help those misconceptions either.

"Uh." Fletcher had grown red and was suddenly very interested in a spot on the coffee table. Valkyrie blinked; that wasn't like him at all. "If it's all the same to you guys, I'm... I don't know. Maybe?"

But Valkyrie wasn't given much time to wonder about his embarrassment, because her mother's next question made her head snap up. "A pet? Really? We're finally getting a dog?"

"You still want a dog?" Des asked with a bemused smile.

"Of course I do! We are getting a dog, right?" Valkyrie's smile disappeared, and her face grew suspicious. "Oh god, we're not getting a cat. You know how much I don't like cats. Why would we be getting a cat if we could have a dog?"

[impudentsongbird]

Maybe he was, Val, maybe he was. But the Archangel did realise that he'd put Fletcher into a spotlight he didn't particularly want. Gabriel chuckled wryly and squeezed Fletcher's hand. "Sorry, bro. Didn't mean to put you on the spot. I was just tryin' to tease our friend over there."

He jerked his head at Skulduggery, threw a wink over at Valkyrie and then rested his elbows on his knees to watch what he knew was going to happen with fascination, his grin widening.

"It's not a dog or a cat," Melissa said with a laugh, knotting her fingers over her stomach. In an idle touch, an absent touch, her thumbs stroked her belly. "I was thinking more along the lines of a little brother or sister."

[skeletonenigma]

Skulduggery's look of indignation came a second delayed, as if it had taken him a moment to remember that he had a face and could shoot pointed looks like that now. Valkyrie might have been more interested in joining Gabriel's teasing if she wasn't completely and utterly preoccupied with what her mum had just said.

She couldn't speak at first, even though she was making noises. Her eyes traveled down to where Melissa was touching her stomach, and the noises grew in pitch until she could form actual words. "You're serious?"

"I certainly hope so," Des answered for his wife. He stood up and walked over to put an arm around Melissa's shoulders, smiling at Valkyrie. "Or I've just been needlessly worrying for the past few nights."

Valkyrie squealed again and leaped up to hug them both, ignoring how awkward the angle was, what with her mum still sitting. "I think getting a pet is a brilliant idea. Did I say that? It's a brilliant idea. I think it's the best idea you've had since you decided to have me. Can I help look after her? Or him. Can I teach her how to walk? Can I just quit school and look after her all the time?"

God, Valkyrie was glad she was here to hear this, instead of the reflection. This wouldn't have been nearly as magical of a moment if she'd had to watch the memories of being excited about it later. A brief memory of the reflection hiding up in her room flashed through her mind, but there wasn't enough room for it to stay. Valkyrie was going to get a little sibling. A little sibling.She couldn't even worry about looking like a fool in front of everyone else.

[impudentsongbird]

The Archangel's only response to Skulduggery was one of innocence personified. If it weren't for the fact Gabe's own comment had just spilled the beans, and the gleam of amusement in his eyes, it would have been entirely convincing.

That only lasted so long, though, given what was happening around him. This kind of joy was exactly the reason angels did the work they did. Gabriel watched with a small, contented grin as Valkyrie went speechless and then excited in a matter of moments.

Melissa laughed again and hugged her daughter back, pulling the girl down onto the chair beside her. "Well, it's unanimous, then," she said cheerfully. "We're going to have a baby. And no, Steph, you may not quit school."

"Congratulations," Gabe said with quiet, almost fierce sincerity. His grin slowly broadened. "Kids are amazin'."

[skeletonenigma]

"But then how am I supposed to have a proper relationship with her?" Valkyrie pretended to whine. "She's going to know me as the sister who's gone half the day. I don't want to be known as the sister who's gone half the day. I think quitting school is the only sensible decision here."

Skulduggery glanced at Gabe. "As teachers, I think we should be offended."

Valkyrie's mobile began ringing in her pocket, and she squirmed it out into her hand with some difficulty. The number wasn't one she recognized, so she gave her mother one last squeeze and forced herself up to answer it quietly in the corner, just in case it turned out to be someone she didn't really want her parents to know about.

Des, still standing behind Melissa, still with an arm slung around her shoulders, was also still beaming. "Aren't they just? We've done so well with Stephanie that we thought, well, why not?" He gave an exaggerated cringe. "Worst way to make a financial decision known to mankind, but I'm sure I'll remember this moment down the road when I'm staring at the bills."

[impudentsongbird]

"Yep." Gabe nodded matter-of-factly. "Definitely offended. Extra homework might be in order. Some more exercises, maybe some Gaelic grammatical constructions."

He grinned at Des and Melissa. "Aw, who needs money, anyway? It just stacks up and gets in the way, and before you know it you've got a dragon infestation sleepin' all over it. They're so hard for pest control to get rid of once they're in." There was, of course, no indication at all whether he was serious or not. At least, there was only an indication he wasn't, but that wouldn't mean much to Skul, Fletch or Val. They'd wonder if he was truly serious or not.

The phone call, however, was serious, if the surprise in Val's soul was any indication, and Gabe had to resist the urge to glance at her over his shoulder.

[skeletonenigma]

Despite the fact that Gabriel was obviously joking, Fletcher paled. "There's grammar? You can't just string words together? Wait a minute, how come I'm the one getting punished?"

Des gave Gabe a sage nod. "Dragons are definitely an issue. Not for us in the near future, though." He squeezed Melissa's shoulder. "What do you think, honey? Should I start a pest control company while we're at it? Earn some of those large stacks of money?"

Skulduggery was forced to wonder, just as Gabe had predicted, if the Archangel was being serious or not. While the detective very much doubted that dragons were a commonplace pest control problem for the rich, it would have been interesting to know whether or not they existed over in Gabe's dimension, and how they were handled. It clearly hadn't been too well-concealed over here, or dragons wouldn't have become a commonplace myth.

Skulduggery glanced up when Valkyrie gestured him over, and an uncommon feeling of dread settled in his lack of a stomach. "Please excuse me for a moment," he apologised, standing up and heading over to join her in one fluid and graceful movement - a little too graceful for someone with any flesh on their bones, perhaps, but Skulduggery wasn't too worried about subtlety at the moment.

Valkyrie had her hand over the mouthpiece. "It's Guild," she whispered as soon as she was sure Skulduggery would be the only one to hear. "I have no idea how he got this number."

"What does he want?"

"I don't know. He'll only talk to you."

Skulduggery nodded. He'd been expecting that. "Apologise again for me, would you? This might take a minute."

"What am I supposed to tell my parents?"

Skulduggery shrugged as he took the phone. "Fellow student with a homework question. If all else fails, be excited about the baby. That should be enough of a distraction."

[impudentsongbird]

Gabriel was too busy laughing to reply to either of them immediately, but Melissa looked thoughtful, as if she was seriously considering the idea. "I suppose that depends on whether we get royalties for finding dragon hoards or not," she said at last. "Maybe we can even find enough to earn an infestation of our own. It would certainly be a talking point at dinner parties."

The equally thoughtful expression on Skul's face made Gabe grin at him, and the Archangel was about to make a joke about straining himself when Valkyrie called the detective over.

Instead Gabriel turned back to Des and Melissa. "It's a thankless task," he said solemnly. "Wearin' unfashionable protective gear, having to come up with riddles, and just when you've lured one out they go off in a huff to chase sparrows, and break the secret door leadin' to their hoard behind 'em."

[skeletonenigma]

Valkyrie tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear her dad excitedly saying: "And once we have our own, we would have a reason to hold dinner parties. We'd be the envy of the neighborhood. Everyone would come just to hear us talk."

She groaned. "Why are we holding dinner parties now?"

"Dragons," Fletcher told her, as if that explained anything. Valkyrie gave him a Look, but he'd already turned back to Gabe, and Des was looking at the Archangel with a funny sort of respect, and a grin that was nothing short of manic.

"Stephanie," he decided, startling her, "you have an excellent taste in friends. I wholeheartedly approve."

With so many conflicting emotions tugging at her - worry over Guild's phone call, excitement over the prospect of a baby sister and/or brother, and general giddiness at how surprisingly well this meeting was going - Valkyrie illogically panicked for a moment. Did they give something away? Did Gabe reveal himself for some reason? Was she going to have to explain everything now? "Why?" she blurted before she could stop herself. "I mean, I do. But... why specifically now?"

"Anybody who can make Lord of the Rings references in polite conversation is welcome in this house," Des told her with another smile at Gabe. "Such people just cannot be boring. There's a law somewhere. I'm sure of it."

Amidst her relief, Valkyrie stared at Gabriel. It made sense, she supposed, but... when had an Archangel watched Lord of the Rings? When did an Archangel have time?